“the more i gain the more lonely it is … i know i’m like a ghost.” top model (and the overused term actually applies here) Daul Kim wrote on her blog in Oct. She killed herself on Nov. 19. Her last blog entry on the 18^th read ‘say hi to forever’ with a video post of the song “I Go Deep” by Jim Rivers.

Daul worked for major fashion houses including Chanel, Dries Van Noten and Alexander McQueen. She makes the second model suicide in Paris this year, the first being Lucy Gordon in May.

Models, those lucky bitches, must surely have eating disorders, treat others like shit, make loads of money, and love to snort blow off each other’s asses when not on set…. Right? Which is well enough since they’re sluts without enough brains to get a ‘real’ job anyway.

Poor girls. It’s a sad situation to feel your value and identity is in your appearance and to be constantly prayed upon as an object of desire. To work so hard while having so much judged constantly is not all fabulous parties and shopping sprees. Disposable within the industry, perhaps they are a bit like ghosts behind their trusty portfolio books. And yet there is no pity for someone who chooses to enter into a material line of work.

We eat it up, watching all the fashion and modeling reality shows and buying the magazines and products.  I think it would be kind of nice if we didn’t always consider the material so separate from the substantive. Wait, isn’t that what art is? Maybe it’s ok to buy the magazine and accept that you’re attracted to the pretty pictures and that maybe they’re trying to be a little bit of art and not reality. You’re still great, they’re still great, everyone is still great. A consumer’s attitude adjustment certainly isn’t going to help an individual’s battle with depression, but I’d like to think that the sentiment of greater compassion for others even when you’re tempted to be a hater is a good one.

This is me in Paris 2001 with my stuffed B.F.F. Chubbs. He was a popular friend to the lonely. My beautiful Israeli roommate once offered, “Sallyyy, if I make you dinner, maybe I sleep with Chubbs tonight?”