The following is an entirely true account of a hilarious/mortifying series of events, submitted to me by a close friend of the female party. I will refer to her as Dumpette:

Dumpette had gone out with this guy a few times and ended up staying over at his place one night for the first time. Having to leave earlier than her for work, he told her to feel free to let herself out when she was ready; the door would automatically lock behind her.

Alone in the apartment and getting ready to head out, she paused to give birth to a food baby. Ah! The toilet wouldn’t flush. She worked at trying to fix it for a while, but desperate not to leave this little crap cake present for her date to find, Dumpette grabbed a plastic grocery bag and scooped it up, planning to throw it out in the trash shoot. I don’t have information on what tool, if any, she used to do the scooping.

Putting the grocery bag on the kitchen counter for a moment, she wrote a quick note to the dude saying she had a great time. Dumpette then turned and happily walked out of the apartment, letting the door slam behind her. Doggy bag still chilling next to the sweet note of thanks. Shit!

The guy did call. She did not answer out of fear and mortification. He did not leave a message. Dumpette hopes never to run into him again.

While this story is most humiliating for Dumpette, it also a story that is sure to spread joy to those amongst her close set, and then friends of those friends…. and on and on. In fact, this story holds the kind of humor that could, if spread, cause a moment of world peace. And that makes Dumpette bomb-shell gorgeous in my book.

Feel free to comment on what you think must of gone through the guy’s mind when he came home that evening….