Despite what Miley Cyrus or Pamela Anderson seem to think, age should really be considered for certain makeup choices. Listen, I’m all for personal preference and expression and generally doing whatever the hell you damn well please, but also think that maybe some bad choices are made because no one told the offender the truth.

When consulting with clients I try my best to discreetly suggest that we stay within these age-appropriate makeup guidelines:

-No false eyelashes until at least age 16

-Unless you’re Oprah, heavy black eye makeup should be reconsidered every 5-10 years. Perhaps a navy or gray would be a nice transition?

-Slutty makeup cannot be pulled off past age 40. I don’t care how much botox or vodka Redbulls you’ve had; the truth is you like crap.

-The expiration on glitter is even younger. The 20’s are really the last opportunity to give the glitter lid its last hurrah. Explore the world of ‘shimmer’ instead.

-Dark lipstick, unless it’s some costumey teen thing, shouldn’t be worn until closer to 18. The upside is that it can be worn all the way to the grave.

-The older you get, the more warmth is lost in your skin tone. Bronzer may seem like a young girls’ thing, but I find a non-shimmery bronzer to be great to liven elderly clients up.

When we’re young, we want to look mature and sexy. When we’re old, we want to look young and sexy. The funny thing is that appropriately playing up exactly how you look now will be the sexiest.

These pics are great examples, although I’m not trying to hate on Pamela. Pamela’s cool. I just think she looks way better sanz the heavy makeup.

Gross:

Cute: