So I was at the doctor  (my major social event for the week at going on 36 weeks preggers), and for once I didn’t have pee available for the cup. “Not even a little?” The nurse asked. I wasn’t sure of her definition of little, but decided to assure her not just in case.  I’m not so good with the metric system.

I was given a Dixie cup of water to drink and told I could give the sample pee at the end of the visit instead.  This plan worked out well and I found myself wrapping up this week’s gala back at the nurse’s station. It’s not always easy, the pee sample acquisition, and on this particular occasion I really wanted to be sure and get good and lined up since this was my only shot. Despite not being able to properly view the area being aimed at anymore, success was mine.

I’m not really sure what happened at this point. I have absolutely no idea what hit where or loosened what, but suddenly my cuppie was on the floor with my pee surrounding it- including over the tops of my flip-flops, as in my toes. Seriously?? I wondered if this was really happening to me, or me to it.

After desperately using most of the paper towel available and bathing my feet in the sink (another difficult task with such a belly), I FINALLY left the bathroom with only about 3 drops of pee left in the cup. No one was there. I stood for a while. I Paced to view the reception area considering getting someone’s attention but it was a rather delicate situation, I thought, and required a certain amount of privacy. Finally I sat and waited.

It seemed to take forever before a nurse came over. Exasperated, I tried to explain why I only had 3 drops to show for myself and let them know they might want to disinfect in the near future. “I spilled my pee on the floor- I cleaned it up!- But I only have a tiny bit of pee now-Is it enough?” She fairly ignored me and proceeded to take the colored stick out of it’s box and stick it in the cup. “You’re fine” She said.

And that was it. Time to go. Goodbye.

Stepping out of the office and into the afternoon sunlight, I found myself excited to relay this ridiculous story to my husband. He’s not going to believe I just spilled my pee!

The moral? No need to cry over spilt pee; they only need a little.