Seeing The Humor: Fightin’ Words
In the pilot episode of 30 Rock, the main character Liz Lemon is in a long line at a hot dog vendor, making her way to the front, when a guy from the back scoots up to place his order. He claims he’s in the NEW line, not cutting. Suddenly everyone behind Liz shuffles hastily over to be sure to be part of the ‘new line’ Liz is so pissed she buys every last hot dog the vendor has. Hording every wiener so no line cutters can get one clearly makes her proud of herself.
I totally understood why the $150 in hot dogs was worth it to Liz. Nothing can kill your day quite like a line cutter. In the past my typical response would be to silently stew as the person got away with it, and then be pissed at myself for not saying anything. After an incident in Victoria’s Secret a few years ago, however, my brew of kick ass has been quietly simmering, just waiting to be served.
Yesterday, at JoAnn’s Crafts and Fabrics of all places, it happened. One line. Two registers. I’m next. Suddenly, the lady behind me is in front of me with her items on the counter.
“The line’s back here.” I remind her.
“This is another line.” She says. Oh no, dude…
“No, it’s one line, and you were just in it.”
She ignores me.
“So what, you’re just going to stay there?” I push. My face is red- I can feel the burn.
“I’m just going to get my stuff.” She somehow thinks this makes sense.
“We’re all getting stuff. But if you’re in that much of a hurry, some kind of craft emergency…” I say
“It’s really not that serious!” She yells, but not without admitting defeat as she takes her items off the counter.
As she turns she adds, “You don’t know me… Be talking to me like that. She don’t know me!”
I won? I won! It was unbelievable. After jumping in my car, locking the doors, and speeding away with one eye on the rearview mirror, I called a friend to relay my victory.
“She actually said, ‘You don’t know me?’” Hahahaha
“Yes!” Hahahahaha
“Like you need to know her?” Hahahaha
“I know!” Hahahahaha.
Ah. Sometimes being the ‘bigger person’ only leaves you with a frown…. And getting your bitch face on can turn that frown upside down. I gotta say, standing up for yourself feels damn attractive.
A similar incident happened to Brian and I at Bath and Body Works. Pretty much the same basic conversation of me with my funky temper telling her she cut the line and I will help her walk back to her original position. She said “ F you lady I am just faster” (ok so does she watch Fried Green Tomatoes?) . Oh no she didn’t!! Brian at this point could tell I was fixing to throw down with a gentle reminder of squeezing my arm until it turned blue. I very calmly said” You may be faster but I am much bigger and badder and have kicked the asses of men twice your size….Bring it” She grabbed her son and ran out of the store. The surprising part was the applause from the line behind me. It was a banner day!