Here’s a short list of my solo driving with great music on daydreams; things I wish I did or was capable of:

1. Piano or drum prodigy

2. Super sexy secret agent spy/assassin

3. Supermodel (I want a do-over)

4. Fluency in 5 languages. At least.

5. Author of amusing, heartbreaking novel that changes people’s lives

6. No wait, SECRET author who only becomes known when accepting the Nobel Prize

7. Dancer who travels on tour with major acts and takes really cool photographs of it all that’s published in a coffee table book

8. Of course I come up with the cure to AIDs while perfecting a new formula to make eyelashes grow longer and thicker.

9. A genius at something. I don’t care what- just something.

10. Lastly, a strong and pioneering social worker that rebuilds families and communities through teachings of kindness and tolerance. I’m featured on Oprah and she gifts me with an Audi and a pair of Louboutins.

No, none of these things did or will happen. I’ll probably have a baby and eventually learn to love American Idol. But, you know what? That’s ok. (Not the American Idol part.)

I hate those little plaques that say ‘laugh’ ‘love’ ‘live’ or some shit in a cutesy font and ‘old scroll’ edges.  But that’s pretty much the point I’m getting at. There’s always that ex who might have been better if only such and such had been different, or that job opportunity turned down in favor of another. One of my favorite dad quotes ‘There’s no such thing as a no risk proposition’ sums up the idea that with each decision, in the series of decisions called life, there is a loss and that’s just that. So it goes. What are we going to do?

So let’s have a laugh at the expense of a loved one and live through it. It’s happy hour.

Or, there’s always Jesus

-Your car is broken into and your purse stolen while at the beach. Perhaps this is a good time to start afresh with a new identity? While you’re canceling your cards, consider having Countess or Madam added to your title on the new ones. When the police officer arrives be sure to let him know what kind of regal stock you come from. 

-The condom broke! Ah gheez, what a mess. After you’ve made plans to pick up the morning after pill, pick different attributes of yourselves that, if combined, would make a monstrous human being. Do this over a huge hot fudge sundae and include traits of ancestors like Great Uncle Jean’s infamous clubfoot.

-You’re having a one-on-one interview in a closed office and are forced to lay out a silent but deadly. How hilarious is this going to be when you tell your friends later? Smile as soon as you catch a whiff and don’t loose eye contact. Add a conspiratorial feeling to your look but continue on as the professional you are. 

-You’re making out with a dude (or chick, we’re open-minded here) for the first time and they go for second. The two-cups worth of added size in your bra padding is about to be discovered! Now, this is a situation that can only be humorous if the mood isn’t broken and that’s a tricky buggeroo. In that type of quandary, I suggest taking the bull by its horns.. so to speak. Take the bra off yourself and add a self-caress over the studs while making a comment like ‘they’re actually really little’. Soooo saucy! And it’ll be so silly that you’ll have to laugh at yourself after for being so ridiculous.  The other party in question will undoubtedly giggle with you and assure you they do not care, because of course they want to keep making out. If it ends up working out between the two of you, you can laugh together later about your Helen of Troy bodice. The same strategy can be applied to girdle-like body-shapers, granny panties, etc. 

-Your electricity is shut off just as you have company coming from out of town and it’s winter. Ha! Well, aren’t you fun and bohemian? Run an extension cord from the neighbor for necessities like the hair dyer and turn it into a camping theme. If they don’t like it, they’re not really your friends anyway so there’s no need to waste a marshmallow stick on them.

So I’m sure you’ve get the just of it. If you’re looking to get a laugh out of life…..well damn your hot! 

Email me at Sally@makefacebeauty.com with any stories that you’d like to share where seeing the humor really got you through a tough situation.