I was provided with a 2-gallon zip-lock brimmed with a hodgepodge of L’Oreal. I sifted my way through, honestly not as excited as I would have been for a huge bag of say, free novelty condoms. But, after 32 mini-makeovers I had the opportunity to test a good portion of it and was pleasantly surprised with a couple products. 

The Extra-Volume Collagen Mascara has an easy to work with consistency and great look. I agree with reviews on Makeup Alley that the Voluminous by L’Oreal is still superior, but this one is great for someone looking for ease of application. 

The HIP (high intensity pigments) shadows are, in fact, more pigmented than typical drug store brands and great for the price. Not, however at a MAC caliber but definitely enough for everyday use. They did blend surprisingly easy, so no biggie if you accidentally clump it on a spot. Packaging is annoying to open. 

Ok, the fav of the night is the HIP Kohl Eyeliner. It’s a little wand in a pot of what appears to be loose, but moist pigments. The wand applicator is a NO BRAINER for a liquid liner look without the talent of drawing perfect lines. No matter how quickly and unabashedly I threw that wand around, the line went on smooth. It is a mess though because the loose pigments will fall out on the cheeks and hands. I would do your foundation/concealing, etc. after applying the liner so that if you get fallout you can just clean it off without ruining your makeup. 

All in all, I think the L’Oreal products I tried are made for ease of use and are solid with performance for the price. Even more surprising I thought was overhearing Beyonce belting out covers of Jewel and Alanis Morissette. I was like ‘Wait, where am I? Is this the prom?’

Here’s me globing on the gloss

Unfortunately you can’t see here because it blew out, but Beyonce’s singing in front of a screen of ocean waves wearing a gorgeous white concoction of fabric. I’m not the hugest fan, but nicely done Beyonce, nicely done.

First, nip that ego in the butt. Negative energy about yourself takes more ego than positive energy. Much like how it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Think you’re so special for having raccoon eyes? Not so much! There are women who don’t even have eyes who have a good man on their arm. 

Then you can focus on the great fact that you’ve got what you got and you can either waste your life fretting about it or shut up, smile, and work with it sista. And when the inevitable happens and that negative energy starts to creep back, have a martini and a laugh with some friends and sleep it off. Or, as Arina says on her self-help blog, you can just try to……. stop it. “Your mind will be so shocked that for a whole 2 seconds it will actually stop thinking at all. This is your opportunity to counter your negative thoughts.”

**What is negative energy? This is not hippy dippy dope smoker talk for real, tangible issues. This is merely a choice of words indicating unnecessary pessimism. This is not guilt/sadness when you accidentally slammed the sliding door busting the gut of Fluffy your cat. You should feel bad about that because it was a shitty thing to happen. Negative energy is more like that crappy feeling you have after a dinner with dad in which all your failings and short comings were touched upon, however indirectly. Negative energy can be taken and created. When dad dished out his commentary on your lifestyle choices, he did so because he’s feeling some failings at your not having done everything exactly to his perspective of perfect. When someone takes someone else’s parking spot they are giving negative energy because they are a douche bag. Try not to let it get to you or do it yourself. Self-induced negative energy is assuming people don’t like you just because they exist and so do you. In this case maybe you should smoke dope because you need to relax a little. 

Check out this guys hair! It is not a hat, it is in fact bleached to a hat shape. 

My clients were awesome. The first was a fitness model/dominatrix, or as she called it a ‘dom’. I asked her if it was true that dominatrix tie up their clients balls and, giggling a little, she confessed that ‘yes, that’s a big part of it.’ So now we all know. I tried to picture it, but all that came to mind was a vision of my husband’s parts tied with a huge red christmas bow. I guess I can’t quite go there, even mentally. She wanted a version of the ’stripper’ eye as described in my last post, in shades of black/grey. We finished with a frosted lip, which I do so rarely I had to scrummage around in my kit to find something. On her and with the look though, it was perfect. 

The second was a dancer from Vegas who is taking the fitness competition very seriously. She brought her trainer and spent a good deal of our time together listing what foods she was going to eat when the event was over. Cashews, almonds, and berry Mentos were top of the list. Strange combination, but like pregnant women, dieting women come up with some pretty crazy concoctions. She opted for a more natural look with some baby false lashes. She had dark skin, so I lined the eyes with a charcoal black, used a bit of grey/brown on the lid and only a touch of highlighter in the inner corner. A caramel-colored cream foundation to the under-eye area, nose, chin, and lower forehead gave her skin depth and I added a bit of a color with more red in it to warm up the outer edges. 

Each girl paid more than the rate, I guess being used to a tipping-job-culture makes them more generous like that. I plan to go back this weekend for another two days of false lashes, bronzer, and laughs. Yyyyyaaaaaay

I call this look stripper eyes or more affectionately ‘Jersey girl’. Think Carmen Electra, but not the narsty Max Factor ads. Very sexy and popular, it is commonly, although wrongly, confused with the smoky eye. The major differences are that the stripper eye can contain any multitude of colors you’d like and the shading has particular definition instead of diffusing. Also, the edges sweep upward and outward, which while that’s always an option with the smoky eye, it’s a constant with the stripper eye.  

1. Pick your palette. This can vary a lot, but a tip would be to use colors that are opposite each other on the color wheel (complementary) or close to it. Some popular palettes for the stripper eye are orange/yellow+purple/blue, pink+green, or metallic silver+black. In fact, shiny metallic versions of all colors are great. Also, variations within a color are great too. You will need a highlight (light shade), medium shade, and contour (darker shade), Anything else is just unnecessary flair. 

2. Line the eyes top, bottom, and inner lid (tear duct area). Any dark color that works with your palette or black is fine. Avoid brown because frankly it’s too tame. 

3. Cover your lid with the medium shade using a flat shadow brush. 

4. Take your contour color and shade the crease line with a blender brush. Take an angled brush and using the same color connect the outer crease edge to the lower lid in sort of a v-shape like so >. Again, with the blender brush, extend the  shadow up and outward from the >. Don’t worry too much where it ends, you can trim that later. And again with the angled brush, put a touch of contour color over the outer edge of the bottom liner, connecting to the > on the outer edge. 

5. With a different flat shadow brush highlight under the brow bone extending the light shade inward and outward both. Add a dot to the inner corner of the eye too. 

6. Take a makeup sponge or foundation brush and with a little bit of liquid or cream makeup clean up the outer side of the eyes by sweeping upward with one straight movement. This creates the definitive line indicative of the stripper eye. 

7. Lashes are not an option with this look, they are a necessity. Use a full strip with any variety of drama you like. 

8. Please, I’m begging you to leave the lips neutral. Resist the urge for a metallic lip! Just because it matches doesn’t mean it looks better. 

Hope this was clear! Let me know if not…. Here is an example using shades of black/gray/taupe. 

-UVA/UVB sunscreen all over. I don’t care if you’re yellow, red, white or black everyone should wear sunscreen. For the face, Coppertone oil-free, Neutragena Face, and Aveeno are all favs. 

-Start with a little bit of oil-based concealer where needed. The oil will help it stay on in the water, but try and avoid wiping the face too much if you can. Most people take a bit under the eyes and lightly dapped on pimples, around the nose, etc. It’s very important that your concealer matches your skin perfectly, even more important that usual because you’ll be in daylight. Take a little hand mirror outside or to the window and check. If needed, you can try mixing it with whatever other concealer, foundation, etc. you have on hand to make it match. Brew it up, nothing’s going to explode or anything. 

-Dab a little schmear of cream blush on the apples of the cheeks. If you have trouble finding the apples. smile in the mirror and dab to the rounded, popped-out part. If you don’t have cream blush, you can use a little pink or red hued lipstick. Just a touch! Blend the color so that it looks like a nice, healthy glow, using a bit of moisturizer if needed to really get the colored evened out. Unlike cream, a powder blush will rinse right off in water. 

-WATERPROOF mascara! No need to curl here, but just a touch of mascara will bring out your eyes and wake them up a little.

-A tinted lip balm with SPF and you’re good to go!