First, nip that ego in the butt. Negative energy about yourself takes more ego than positive energy. Much like how it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Think you’re so special for having raccoon eyes? Not so much! There are women who don’t even have eyes who have a good man on their arm. 

Then you can focus on the great fact that you’ve got what you got and you can either waste your life fretting about it or shut up, smile, and work with it sista. And when the inevitable happens and that negative energy starts to creep back, have a martini and a laugh with some friends and sleep it off. Or, as Arina says on her self-help blog, you can just try to……. stop it. “Your mind will be so shocked that for a whole 2 seconds it will actually stop thinking at all. This is your opportunity to counter your negative thoughts.”

**What is negative energy? This is not hippy dippy dope smoker talk for real, tangible issues. This is merely a choice of words indicating unnecessary pessimism. This is not guilt/sadness when you accidentally slammed the sliding door busting the gut of Fluffy your cat. You should feel bad about that because it was a shitty thing to happen. Negative energy is more like that crappy feeling you have after a dinner with dad in which all your failings and short comings were touched upon, however indirectly. Negative energy can be taken and created. When dad dished out his commentary on your lifestyle choices, he did so because he’s feeling some failings at your not having done everything exactly to his perspective of perfect. When someone takes someone else’s parking spot they are giving negative energy because they are a douche bag. Try not to let it get to you or do it yourself. Self-induced negative energy is assuming people don’t like you just because they exist and so do you. In this case maybe you should smoke dope because you need to relax a little. 

I was thinking to myself, ‘What is this all about?’. Then she mentioned she had seen pictures of J.Lo. in a rag mag without makeup. Apparently she saw herself in this photo, bags and all, and truly thought that she too could look as seamless as J.Lo. with the proper makeup. Whether this happened seemed about to make or break her entire existence. Except for her skewed perception and J.Lo.’s obviously more intense and expensive upkeep, what exactly made this qualify as expecting a miracle to me?

As I attempted to show her practical application and color theory, and all she could do was continue to pick apart her face with self-depreciation, I realized the answer was that this was one wound up bitch. The difference between Bride X and J.Lo. is that I’m sure Jenny from the block doesn’t get up every morning and cry over her cellulite, obsess over a new pimple crop, and wring her hands at whether to get cheese on her sandwich at lunch. She would never have become the success she is wasting all her energy like that.

How did Bride X get to that point and how could she get over it and move on to being happy and excited about her wedding? Makeup is fun and very helpful to appearance, but it can’t do jack all if you’re all worked up about how much you suck.

So that is my inspiration/introduction to the category. Here I will post suggestions to help you get over yourself already and start living a more gorgeous life. Stop thinking you suck already, it’s making you kind of ugly.

 (PS-If all this J.Lo. talk has made you want to try her style, a good tutorial on J.Lo. eyes is here MakeupMondo )

 Once you’ve gotten the casual-safe-place smile down, try moving up to teachers and coworkers, and that guy who always goes over the 30-minute limit on the elliptical machine. When you’re ready, bring your smile to family brunch and see how your beauty radiates through cousin Gino’s screaming babies and Aunt Dora’s drooling, sad stare. Add a splash of white wine, and you’ll be gorgeous! Your family will think you have that secret love-affair glow. 

***Do not throw your smile around recklessly. The guy in the Save-on parking lot making strange gestures between his figures and pointing at you does not need a smile. If you cannot determine between responsible smiling and reckless smiling, do not smile at all.