I discovered the Caruso SalonPro Molecular Steam Setter while dedicating countless hours to cruising Amazon perfectly masterminding my wish list. Only a wet to dry curl set will hold shape in my fine, limp tassels. Curling irons, hot rollers, etc. only give me a couple hours at best. In case you’ve never had one, curl sets take forever, even with the big dryer machine. Caruso ‘Molecular’ Steam Rollers are supposed to use steam to gather hot moisture on a foam roller to much much more quickly garner the effects of a wet to dry set.

Two years they sat on that Amazon list before someone finally clicked them to my door. I read all the instructions and recommendations, which are nicely extensive. 18 styles are depicted with black and white illustrations and instructions on creating the look. It kind of transported me back to a pre-FDA time I never knew where women eagerly mail-ordered beauty products promising miracles from catalogs. They waited on their prairie until the post rolled up and, evading teasing eyes, ran their brown paper wrapped parcel into the attic to review the instructions. The Caruso did not cause any rashes, hair loss, or speech impediments, but it did cause ugly hair.

Three of the techniques with three setting products I tried. I tried the included roller shields and my own clips. I tried letting them stay on for an hour or so (10-15 minutes is what they call for). One decent curl on one strand is what I got out of three sets of a whole head of curlers. I have no idea what brought about that one curl and how it differed from all the others, but it doesn’t even matter since that curl only lasted an hour or so anyway.

This review of the Caruso SalonPro Molecular Steam Setter concludes that it is dumb. It makes hair negative of pretty, plus SalonPro looks stupid as a compound word.